The opposite of forgiveness--holding a grudge--has been likened to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

In my view it is an error to give someone else the right to determine your state of mind, or heart, or spirit. Forgiveness--a loosely used term--does not mean forgoing justice, but it does mean releasing any hunger for revenge.

One reason for this is that a crime, once done, is not reversible, and dwelling on blame and regret for the past is detrimental to one's own power to do good in the present. This, thereby, only exacerbates the impact of the crime by redoubling its harmful consequences.

Another aspect of this is that we are most inclined to resent the offenses of others when they resemble our own offenses in some way. Examining your own conscience is a good way to see an offender in a clearer light.