This can also be heard on YouTube, as well as Spotify:


MORE TURKISH DELIGHT
As recorded by Ray Noble & His Orchestra, with Leslie Sarony, vocalist.

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the second of our personally conducted tours round the mysterious East. We are now passing Mecca, and if the natives would only "Mecca" little less noise, you would be able to hear the asses bleating.

VOICE: Well, we don't want to hear you.

NARRATOR: Ignore that low vagabond. That building near the strand is a hareem, or zanana.

CHORUS: Let's all go down the Strand! Have a zanana!

NARRATOR: Eh, so few of the bunch. On my left is a litter.

VOICE: Yes, there's a lot of litter left here; I can smell it.

NARRATOR: The litter is what mandarins are borne in.

VOICE: What, out in the public streets?

1. You must have heard of Chu Chin Chow, the mandarin from China.
He tried to wed a fair young slave, but found she was a minor.
"All right, my beauty," he remarked, "just wait in this here cage.
My other wives will last me until you become of age."

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

2. Once there was a tourist who took a trip to Turkey.
He went out for adventure when the night was dark and murky.
He tried to kiss a Turkish girl but she remarked, "My word!
You may be fond of Turkey, but I'm not that kind of bird."

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

[Instrumental interlude]

3. The oriental beauties, they veil their pretty faces,
Although they aren't so careful about some other places.
They make whoopee and aren't found out, and here's the reason why:
An eastern woman in a veil can't tell a bare-faced lie.
Eastern drones!

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

[Instrumental interlude]

4. Have you heard the story of Aladdin and his lamp?
He bought it from a genie who was dressed up as a tramp.
His wife said, "I will rub it and see what I can get."
She rubbed the damn thing day and night but nothing's happened yet.

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

VOICE 1: Honourable sir, deign to honour this low dwelling with your august presence!

VOICE 2: Say, what is this, a hula-hula den?

VOICE 1: This miserable edifice is too euphoniously styled the Palace of the Myriad Delights.

VOICE 2: What, have you really got some of those—?

VOICE 1: Shhhh!

5. Once there was a traveller who went to see the shah.
They took him to the palace gate and said, "Well, here we are.
Walk slowly backwards to the throne; be sure your face to hide."
He did as he was told, poor chap, and found himself outside.

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

6. Sinbad was a sailor, and you know what sailors are.
He sailed about the seven seas but once he went too far.
He saw a lovely mermaid a-combing out her locks.
The naked truth upset him and he soon was on the rocks.

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

[Instrumental interlude]

7. Once there was a caliph who walked up a winding path,
And all at once he came upon a ladies' Turkish bath.
The girls all screamed with horror at this masculine intrusion,
But it was quite all right for they were covered with confusion.

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

[Instrumental interlude]

8. The sultan of Morocco has a wonderful harem,
With wives of every colour from chocolate to cream.
He's only got three-sixty-five, and yet it makes him groan,
For ev'ry time leap year comes round he has to sleep alone.

CHORUS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

[There's a bit more patter here, but as I didn't understand it well enough to get the jokes, I won't bother transcribing what little I understood.]