In a thread named "What was your first tune", Doug Chadwick, on 14 Apr 02, wrote, 'The first tunes I learnt for public performance (singing at neighbours' doors in return for a ride on the milkman's horse and cart when was about 4 years old) were: "What did the poor little moths live on when Adam and Eve were there" and "How can a guinea pig show he's pleased if he hasn't got a tail to wag". I learned these songs at my mother's knee and she, in turn, learnt them from the horn of her uncle's wind up gramphone.'

I found this, as one should before posting, by checking on "Search", and this was the sole result. I was going to ask if anyone knew anything about the second of these, which one of the teachers at my school used to sing at 1st year Christmas parties. His full lyric was

How can a guinea pig show he's pleased
when he hasn't got a tail to wag?
All other animals, you will find,
Have got a little tail stuck on behind.
If they'd only put a tail on a guinea pig,
And finish off a decent job,
Then the price of a guinea pig would go right up
From a guinea up to thirty bob.

Does anyone know: is that it, or is there a longer song of which this is the chorus; it has something of the feel to me of the chorus of a Music Hall song -- an impression perhaps strengthened by the reference to "the horn of uncle's wind-up gramophone". Any idea of an author/composer? In fact, any more info whatever?

~Michael~