"which for you to address is your apparent total lack of comprehension of plain English."

When and if you start writing your little rants in plain English, I guess we will find that out.

"As for your educating me, I shall nick and twist a phrase of Musket's: I can't be educated by pork."

A reasonable man would be alarmed at his need to be educated by "pork" but I don't think that anyone on this forum thinks that you are behaving as a reasonable man.

"As for pointless forums, it's people like you and Snail who love to twist what other people say who make them pointless."

You said this forum is pointless. Now you say it is about snail and me. You said that pete deserves to be vilified when he comes here. You also say that you insult people because you enjoy it. If you think that the Mudcat is pointless why don't you find yourself another forum? You could also try to consider it less pointless. But I'll tell you, picking fights with people, calling people names, blustering and bragging rather than conversing are not ways to do that. Why don't you take a couple of deep breaths before you post and try to think how your words affect other people?

Have you considered that people are not twisting what you say, but they are missing your intention because your tone is usually angry and you do not communicate very well when you are angry?