My transcription from YouTube:


IT AIN'T EASY BEING WHITE
As recorded by Bowser & Blue [George Bowser & Ricky Blue, Canadians], on "Bowser & Blue"

I got ...(?) on my Chevy and my VCR is broke.
My wife is gettin' heavy and my son is doin' coke.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
You know, I ain't even allowed out at night.
It ain't easy bein' white.

I keep on workin' real hard, workin' hard downtown.
I may not get a suntan but my nose is gettin' brown.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
Well I know I'm doin' somethin' right,
But it ain't easy bein' white.

To the black folks I'm a honky; to the French I'm a ...(?) carré.
To my daughter[or "doctor"?] I'm a hemorrhoid that just won't go away.
Someone stole my wallet; I'm allergic to our cat.
I think I'm an alcoholic and I know I'm gettin' fat.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
That's why I'm so tight,
'Cause it ain't easy bein' white.

My complexion's kind o' sickly; sex drives me up the wall.
I either [beep] too quickly or I can't [beep] at all.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
And I know that it ain't right,
But it ain't easy bein' white.

My girlfriend doesn't swallow; I don't believe she can.
I found someone who does, but it's a man!
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
Well, it's kind o' hard to tell late at night,
But it ain't easy bein' white.

[There is another more recent video by the same duo here. This one is a true performance video, not just a soundtrack with an image of the album cover. Well made, too. Same tune, different lyrics:]

I'm of Caucasian ancestry.
A person of power, that's me.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
Squares of the world unite!
It ain't easy bein' white.

Poetry to me is "smooth" and "June."
The godfather of soul was Pat Boone.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
That's why I walk with my buddies tight.
It ain't easy bein' white.

I feel bad when I feel good. Is that the blues? No, it isn't.
What I have is Protestantism.
I feel so inadequate, it's a shame
When my partner has a climax, she calls out her own name.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
That ain't polite,
But it ain't easy bein' white.

I put my member in her hand; she takes it like a joke.
She smiles at me and says, "You know I don't smoke."
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
That ain't right.
It ain't easy bein' white.

With me it's always doggie style whenever I go to bed.
I sit up and beg; she rolls over and plays dead.
It ain't easy bein' white.
It ain't easy bein' white.
And it's the same every night.
And it ain't easy bein' white.