I decided awhile back that I would not post again til I had the time to sit back and read this thread once again from the beginning. The 'Cat has been fighting me since the cold really set it and I think the old girl has some bad moments like the rest of us. BTW, I was delighted to first read the latest good news from so many fronts.   Ups for you all!!!

So I did get the time and the 'Cat's cooperation and I have enjoyed the read. I cannot tell you how much I have learned from this thread and from all of you.......and all of it has been important to how I am doing from that knowledge and support. But as we sail on I have had other experiences which I'll share here to help explain what I know now that I didn't know before.

Let me tell you about Rich. Rich and I were good friends in high school but went to different colleges. We worked several summers together during the college years and hung out together in our early 20's. We did about as crazyass shit as you can imagine on every level and we somehow survived those years though I'm not sure how. I have a warehouse full of "Me and Rich Tales" that I will never forget....or tell. Life overtook us and we drifted apart. Rich married Jan, his High School sweetheart, and started a family and by the time we were 40 barely saw each other although were always happy to do so, like two little kids with a shared secret.

A few years ago I sadly found that Rich had died. I didn't know any details or how to find Jan but I kept it in my mind for many years. Facebook has a site of folks who grew up in the same town as I did and I found many old school chums. All too many were now widows and widowers. One good friend, Vicki, knows everything about our class it seems and when I asked about Rich and Jan she gave Jan's info and then talked about Rich. Things had been going badly for him and he committed suicide. I was dumbstruck. I have talked to Jan and all but the idea stays in my head that sometimes we just need a friend or some support like we try to be around here. Perhaps if Rich and I had stayed in closer contact, I could have been that person for my old friend. Perhaps not. We don't know nor can we know. As I often say, there is only what is.

But oddly enough this voyage of Jane's Rainbow and the death Rich's death came together to finally make me realize, even after all I have gone through before, that the only thing I am absolutely certain of, that I can believe in and be assured of, is that in the final analysis there is only time. And there is only what is......what should be never existed.

There is also friendship which makes the time ever so valuable. Thank you all for the friendship and the time you have given and that we spend together here. Let's sail on together........


Spaw