Nah. None a that there. I just had a nice tight ass. That's just one a tha reasons tha girls liked me. Ahhh... those were tha nights my friend, I thought they never end. Boy, was I wrong! Now my saggy ass just does well ta git ta the grocery store and back. But you oughta taste these spice cookies after a fishcake supper. They say the way to a woman's heart is thru her stomach and I can cook.

Wha? No? Still need a big dick? Jaysus! I can't catch a break. Really? Not even macaroni and cheese? SWEDISH MEATBALLS? I make em soooo good. Breaded haddock? Johnny Cake and sausages? Clam chowder with bar clams and lobster? Oh COME ON EH? Toast with Partridgeberry jam but that's it. If the lasses can't get with that, they don't get with me. It's on cracked wheat bread........ mmmm.... sexy eh?