Been there, done that, not surprised so many here share this fear!

I had a dentist as a kid (I have great teeth but I did have a lotta cavities as a kid; just before the era of fluoride) who had hands as big as hams and the chairside manner of an ogre. I HATED the drill and one time it was hitting a nerve and I started to whimper (I was maybe seven years old) and he stopped and glared at me and said "Now STOP that!"--gee, thanks for being sensitive, doc. He would always say at the end of every session "You got great teeth, take care of 'em" as if, yeah, like I WANNA have to come back here, you monster!

So I had a horrible phobia of the dentist for years. Still do. I also used to hate getting shots and would often turn green and feel nauseaous (and once passed out)whenever I had a close encounter with a needle. This has gotten better over the years (mainly because the method for taking blood no longer requires a huge metal rod being inserted into my tiny veins--horrible experience when in the hospital at age seven where they'd wake me in the wee hours to draw blood with a needle the size of a golf club; bad year, 1970...)

I avoided the dentist for years, not even getting a cleaning once my grad school coverage ran out.

But I was forced to go back and get a ROOT CANAL when I was in awful pain.

Good friends recommended their dentist whose staff are very sensitive to people with, ahem, issues about the dentist. His helpers actually held my hand and kept asking "are you all right" during the root canal...they also understand why I go all white-knuckled when I get the drill (mostly the sound but also I have teeth sensitive to cold air) and remind me to relax and breathe etc.

Oh, and they also let me pay in installments when I did not have insurance...

The dentist's name is Goldstone (gotta love that) and he is in Boston.

Maybe he can recommend someone in your area wherever that is?

Best of luck. Remember, the longer you let it go the more drastic the procedure might be; or you will lose your tooth. If you can bear it for the necessary treatment, you will feel better knowing you won't need more in the future.

I had a friend who was petrified of the dentist; she had also been orally raped and basically her jaw clenched at the thought of having her teeth worked on. The only thing that worked was LOTS of drugs provided by the DDS. I don't remember which ones but I think Percodan was one...maybe that is an option?