What's the best thing to play a bodhran with?
A razor blade.
What is the difference between a bodhran player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathisers.
What's the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
There's nothing I like better than the sound of a banjo, unless of course it's the sound of a chicken caught in a vacuum cleaner.
What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.
If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola off a 20-story building, which one lands first?
Who cares?