"Anybody got any ideas,"

Yes Ake, the World Health Organisation, the link to which you couldn't, apparently, be arsed to read, but I don't think you'll like their ideas.

" WHO has defined five key components—the "5 Cs"—that must be respected and adhered to by all HTC services. These components are:

    Consent
    Confidentiality
    Counselling
    Correct test results
    Connection/linkage to prevention, care and treatment.

The five Cs, and the key principles they entail, apply to all models of HTC services:

    People being tested for HIV must give informed consent to be tested. They must be informed of the process for HTC, the services that will be available depending on the results, and their right to refuse testing. Mandatory or compulsory (coerced) testing is never appropriate, regardless of where that coercion comes from: health-care providers, partners, family members, employers, or others.
    Testing services must be confidential, meaning that the content of discussions between the person tested and the health-care worker, testing provider, or counsellor, as well as the test results, will not be disclosed to anyone else without the consent of the person tested.
    Testing services must be accompanied by appropriate and high-quality pre-test information or pre-test counselling, and post-test counselling.
    Provision of correct test results. Testing must be performed and quality assurance measures followed according to internationally-recognized testing strategies, norms, and standards based on the type of epidemic. Results must be communicated to the person tested unless that person refuses the results.
    Connections to HIV prevention, treatment and care and support services should be supported through concrete and well-resourced patient referral, support, and/or tracking systems."