Could it be this one?
I found it here (click)
-Joe Offer- (e-mail sent)

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THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING
(Tom Waits)
(Live version: Dublin. March, 1981)

Well, the piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
and the combo went back to New York, and left me all alone
And the juke-box has to take a leak
Have you noticed that the carpet needs a haircut?
and the spotlight looks just like a prison break
and the the telephone's out of cigarettes
and as usual, the balcony is on the make(1)
and the piano has been drinking
heavily

And the piano has been drinking, he's on the hard stuff tonight
The piano has been drinking
And you can't find your waitress, even with a Geiger counter
And I guarantee you that she will hate you from the bottom of her glass
and all of your friends
But mind you, you just can't get served without her
And the piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking

The lightman was blind in one eye and he can't see out of the other
The piano-tuner has got a hearing aid and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking

Without fear of contradiction I say:
the piano has been drinking

Our Father who areth in Cribari
hallowed it be
Thy glass, thy kingdom come, I will be done
Ah yeah, as it is in the lounges
Give us this day our daily splash
Forgive us our hangovers
as we forgive all those who continue to hang over against us
And lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
and someone give us all a ride home

Cause the piano has been drinking
and he's your friend not mine
The piano has been drinking
and he's not my responsibility
The bouncer(2) is this Sumo wrestler, kinda cream-puff(3) Casper Milktoast(4)
And the owner is just a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
And I'm going down
Hang on to me, I'm going down
Watch me skate across an acre of linoleum
I know I can do it
I'm in total control

And the piano has been drinking
and he is embarrassing me
The piano has been drinking
he raided his mini bar
The piano has been drinking
And the bar stools are all on fire
and all the newspapers were just fooling
and the ashtrays have retired
and I've got a feeling that the piano has been drinking
It's just a hunch

The piano has been drinking
and he's going to lose his lunch
And the piano has been drinking
not me
not me

The piano has been drinking
not me

Written by: Tom Waits
Published by: Fifth Floor Music (ASCAP ), © 1976
Official release: "Bounced Checks", WEA/ Asylum Records, 1981

(1)On the make: To be receptive to or to encourage sexual advances from the opposite sex, usu. said of females; to make sexual advances or desire sexual intercourse with one of the opposite sex, usu. said of males; to seek or readily enter into sexual intercourse, said of both sexes (Dictionary Of American Slang, Wentworth/ Flexner)
(2)Bouncer n.: A person employed to eject unwanted customers from a saloon, restaurant, dance hall, etc. Late 1800s (New dictionary of American slang, Chapman)
(3)Cream puff, creampuff n.: A weakling; a person of slight physique; a sissy (Dictionary Of American Slang, Wentworth/ Flexner)
(4)Milquetoast n.: Any shy, timid, or extremely gentle person. From H.T. Webster's cartoon character Caspar Milquetoast, central figure of the comic strip "The Timid Soul". First published in the N.Y. "World"; later in many other forms and publications (Dictionary Of American Slang, Wentworth/ Flexner)