Ake - who gives a shit why they fancy blokes, physiological or psychological - they do. they do -always will do - always have done.

I have conducted peace talks with the Provisional Wing of the left wing Homo's.

They have agreed to leave you unmolested as long as you undertake not to climb a ladder wearing a kilt.

as for Musket, I have reported your plans to clean windows to the tax people. they have promised to investigate the unearned income from your Scottish investments.

if you clean Ake's windows - make sure to knock first. if he sees your face at the window unexpectedly - when he's playing with his bagpipes - he might come out swinging his claymoor.