I just listened to this on Spotify and tried to transcribe it. There are a few uncertainties.


THREE CHEERS FOR BOOZE
As sung by Cockersdale on "Been Around for Years" (1994)

1. The English will sing in the praise of good ale.
The Scots extol scotch if they're able.
In France and such places it's wine without fail,
But they're all equal under the table.
For be it the pee-pot peapod or Château Rothschild,
The grape or the grain, the bitter or mild,
The gin or the home-brew or ouzo you use,
Oh, the ending's the same, just as long as it's booze.

CHORUS: So bring us a barrel, a bowl or a butt.
Raise your glasses with hullabaloos.
Come fill up the cup and the can and the bath(?)
And let's all slag slur three cheers for booze.

2. Now booze has its place at ev'ry event
From the christening through to the wake.
Just oil the wheels with this social cement
And you'll swear you can hear the ice break.
From intimate dinners to massed barbecues,
At public affairs and discreet rendezvous,
Reviews and abuse debuts, and all sorts of do's
Oh, the wetter the better, as long as it's booze.

3. There's those with dry whistles who must get 'em wet.
There's those who imbibe to aid thinking.
There's those who are driven to drink to forget,
And there's those who forget why they're drinking.
Some sip and savor, decrying all haste.
Some gulp it down 'cause they don't like the taste,
But if it were rationed, they'd all join the queues.
Bottoms up! Get it down ya, as long as it's booze.

4. There's vicars who have just a drop when they call
But who call at a great many places.
There's upstanding pillars who never will fall
Until they fall flat on their faces.
There's those who admit that they do drink a bit
But could easily any time do without it;
But that's just a ruse, for they never refuse
Whatever they're offered, as long as it's booze.

5. Booze cheers those who work for but little reward.
It soothes those of highest repute.
So the meanest of men may get drunk as a lord,
And the princess as pissed as a newt.
Some say that boozing just serves to conceal
The feelings we hide and the hurts that we feel;
But they're all confused, for we'll soon lose our blues
And we won't feel a thing, just as long as it's booze.