Over the years in the news business I've seen some pretty bizarre stories come across the wire and I've covered a few myself.

Two of my favorites off the wire were:

Guy in Ohio (probably a relative of 'Spaw's) woke in the middle of the night, saw what he thought was an intruder at the foot of his bed. Whipped the .357-Magnum out from under his pillow and fired at the intruder. Shot his own penis off. The intruder was his own clothes hung over a chair.

During the Iran-Iraq war there was a lot of fighting in the area inhabited by the Marsh Arabs, who for the most part have been living exactly the same way for millennia. As the fighting moved into other areas, one side or the other abandoned a lot of equipment, including some big generators. Local fishermen discovered they could crank up one of the generators, stick the leads in the water and the fish would just float to the top, where they could be scooped out of the water with nets. Only trouble was, they didn't realize they shouldn't stand IN the water when they did it. Last story I saw on it said the latest four brought the total killed that way to 25.

Of course the latter story doesn't really belong in the "terminally stupid" category the same way the former one does — the Marsh Arab fishermen just didn't understand the technology.

One that I covered was the biker who had disassembled ride's motor and was cleaning it with gasoline — in the basement, right beside the furnace. He was — as they say — toast. The blast had moved the house about four feet off its foundations.

Today I edited a story about a guy who put the Christmas bird in the oven, turned it on High and then had to correct his mistake with a fire extinguisher. He was so afraid of what his wife was going to say that he called the fire department to find out if he could just wash the white power off the bird and continue cooking it. Apparently the power is highly toxic, so one of the firefighters went home, got his own bird and replaced the burned one.

Merry Christmas, all

david