Will they retain the pound?

Will they retain the quarter pounder ?

Will they retain the healthy gherkin usually served with it?

The pavement outside any McDonalds in the central belt answers the last one.

Of course, we dirty rotten stinking capitalists are hypocrites divine! A table for two at Castle Terrace wipes out a good £300 of ill gotten gains. That's, let me see, 67,536 groats and a scabby rabbit.

Interestingly, this week, all the holiday lets have Scottish families in them. That is rare. I'll just spend all day wondering how to get a cheap gag out of that. I don't have Al's spontaneous wit or zillions.