NOW FROSTY IS NO GENTLEMAN
(god rest ye merry gentlemen)

In the town of Birmingham
At the university
They've done a 5 year study
On snowman history
They've done extensive research
And their findings are complete
They conclude that snowmen are obsolete
They're obsolete
They conclude that snowmen are obsolete.

Now Doctor Tricia Cusack
Took her lecture out on tour
She felt an obligation
To say the snowman's just a bore
We need to change his image to one more feminine
Now Frosty's got to go to her from him
To her from him
Now Frosty's got to go to her from him.

Now gender reassignment
Is a tricky deal indeed
Where once he stood so proudly
He now must squat to pee
He once stood tall & statuesque
Among the other greats
But now he sports a pair of 38's
Big 38's
Now he sports a pair of 38's.

Doctor Tricia found herself
Way up in Holyoke
Where some there felt her theories
Were no more than a joke
They said "we'll give her what she want's"
"Then laugh at the effect"
So they built one anatomically correct
Very erect
They built one anatomically correct.

She looked out of her window
And behold what did she see
There stood an 8 foot cocksickle
As glorious as can be
She said"This isn't funny & this isn't very nice"
"To be honored with a dildo made of ice"
She had to look twice
"To be honored with a dildo made of ice".

The townsfolk were offended
The doctor was aghast
They said this giant snowdildo
Must be destroyed & smashed
The students cried out censorship
Please save our work of art
But they came & they blew it all apart
Blew it apart
They came & they blew it all apart.

So if you've got a mind to
Build a snowman in your yard
Make sure he's got no member
Be it flacid,big or hard
Be sure you don't offend someone
They might retaliate
Might as well just stay home & masturbate
They say that it's great
Might as well just stay home & masturbate.

DB.