I have this as gospel from my fire department colleagues who ran this call in another jurisdiction this Christmas season.

It seems the hero of this tale (soon to be referred to as "the Patient") decided to trim the tree in his front yard, then the front of this two storey house, with Christmas lights.

Thinking "safety first" he tied a rope around his waist, wrapped it twice around the chimney, and telling his EIGHT YEAR OLD son to "tie it off somewhere", made his way off the roof, climbing into the tree.

Tree trimming proceeded according to plan, the soon-to-be-patient secure in the knowledge that he'd taken every precaution, UNTIL......

Mrs. Soon-to-be-patient took to her Oldsmobile, running out to do some shopping.

Our hero, enroute to patienthood, knew something was wrong when he was forcibly Tarzanned out of the tree and upside the house. From there it was but a short trip over the eaves to the chimney (remember the chimney? the patient remembers going around it TWICE) accelerating down the roof line to the juniper bush, being dragged out of the juniper bush, down the driveway, and about fifty feet down the road by Mrs. Patient who stopped when she heard his screams.

Injuries to the patient included embedded splinters, road rash and minor contusions.

Only Wile E. Coyote could have done better.

Happy Holidays

D