Phil. I like your folk club song idea. Most pertinent. Out of interest, the bit about cats has a club perspective too. Remember Kevin from Doncaster who referred to his audience as "cats" before launching into another Paul Simon (folk) song?

Mind you, I am going back to the early '80s there, when folk was folk and no bugger got hung up over it.

Snail. Brilliant! Irony has to be doubled over in order to be hilarious. Dozy sod.