Actual lyrics to "Liza" from the album sleeve of "Dixie Highway Sign" (1979) written by Robin Williams:

LIZA
(Robin Williams)

Liza wakes up early in the morning,
Kicking at her husband and yelling at her kids
"Get up, get up I'm giving you a warning
or I'll give you the hoppin' fits.
Today is Monday, tomorrow is Tuesday,
Wednesday will soon be coming on.
You better get up and get moving,
the week's half over and the washing ain't done"

Sister had a habit of suckin' on toothpicks,
Junior had a habit of dippin' snuff.
Granny had a habit of chewin' tobacco and she
spit her juice in an old tin cup.
Brother Joe he chased women,
Papa had a habit of drinkin' wine.
Liza had a habit of blisterin' the air and making
everyone of them toe the line.

The other day was a terrible sight, when Liza and
Jones got into a fight.
He was sneaking down the gulley with her chickens
in his hand when he ran into Liza with a butcher knife.
He grabbed that rail and he took his stance and
he swung for to give old Liza a whack.
Liza did the dodge and Liza did the dance and
she cut Jones' shirt right off his back.

The funniest story I ever did hear,
Liza woke one night and took to her ear.
Out through the window in the pale moonlight,
she saw a stranger in the garden as big as life.
She grabbed that gun and gave the triggers a pull and
she fed that stranger two barrels full.
Come daylight the kids all wanted to know who
blasted down the new scarecrow.

(Repeat 1st verse)

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Dixie Highway Sign album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7ZJKU18hRk