There is no solution (trite remarks being carefully avoided!)!

The windings thicken the string, as you suspected. Friction between the fret and the winding cause wear, and oil isn't an option!

There are concoctions around which are supposed to help, but are more beneficial to the manufacturer than the poor sucker who buys them!

If it's a major problem, and you are using bronzewounds, perhaps you need to consider stainless instead. A different sound, but not necessarily inferior. Depends on what you play.

There have been many fads during my shuffling around this mortal coil - tapewound (urggh!), half-round (why?!) and 'straights' - they claim they last longer because they aren't coiled up in the package! What crap! Don't they know they stretch on the instrument?!! Of course they do!! Laughing all the way to the bank - and some people seriously believe all the hype!

Sorry - had to have a laugh!

There are other considerations, though. What about the profile of your frets? If the fretwire is thin, or very 'proud', there is less contact between the fret and the string, which increases wear.

String tension, too - bending works better with lighter strings, but you lose volume if the instrument is acoustic. Not as big a problem on an electric, but tuning can suffer instead.

Oooh! Worra can of worms!!

And I've been as much help as a sick headache!!

Good luck!