I wrote a song in 2008 protesting (partly) about all the disruption the tram works caused in Edinburgh: but it also coincided with a period when all the roads seemed to be getting dug up for any reason - new gas pipes, water or sewage pipes, electricity and media cables etc. It reflects the volcanic origins of Edinburgh's skyline too. I did revise the song slightly when we finally got the long promised trams which don't serve the vast majority of people living in Edinburgh and cost an absolute fortune! So here is the revised version:

A WHOLLY HOLEY PLACE                    © TS 23.03.08. (revised 31.05.14.)

You'll have heard aboot Edinburgh's disgrace,
A sicht that the toon couldnae face,
Up on Calton Hill, how it made them feel ill,
But noo it's a weel-revered place.
Noo Edinburgh's a' fu' o' holes,
Being dug by an army of moles,
They cam frae doon under tae tear us asunder
Tae meet wi' oor Government goals.
Chorus
They're digging up Edinburgh toon,
They're digging a lang lang way doon,
One day they'll hit lava,We'll be all blown tae Java,
And I think it might come fairly soon.

They say that we're needing some trams
Some say MSPs are all bams
Noo jist hear oor wails, they must be aff the rails
As I only see huge traffic jams.
If it's no trams, it's pipes or it's cable,
They're digging wherever they're able,
Not another diversion, it smacks of coercion
And that flood means they've hit water table.
                                        Chorus        
There're more red lights than a bordello,
Oh why do they never turn yellow
Or even tae green, that sae rarely is seen
Oh this really is motoring hell-O.
From the stuff oot the holes they make humps,
They've the brass neck tae cry them speed bumps,
It is their intention to wreck my suspension,
The exhaust pipe has dropped off in lumps.
                                        Chorus
And I can't find a stop for my bus,                        
Now why should I make such a fuss?                        
They havenae just moved it, they've totally removed it                
No wonder I'm starting to cuss.                                
So when is it all going tae end?                        
It's driving me near roond the bend,                
You'll detect my distaste for this latest disgrace,
It's a state that I cannae defend.
                                        Chorus
So six years on, see where we are,
Don't think aboot bringing your car,
Or you'll stop for a while ….and a while…..and a while……………….
And I bet you won't smile
As you wait for that tram from afar.
And as they glide silently by
Half-empty, I'm starting to cry
For the money and pain spent for so little gain,
And I ask just one question, it's "Why?"