Elvis ain't dead. Neither is Marilyn Monroe or Jimi Henrix or Janis Joplin or JFK. They -- along with everyone was said to have died in Vietnam, the crew of the USN Thresher and the USN Seawolf -- are cryogenically frozen in a Top Secret Base in Iceland. If the US is every really threatened they will be thawed out and be ready to go -- two nuclear subs, about six divisions of battle-trained troops, a good leader, and top-notch entertainers for the USO. John Wayne and Roy Rogers are also there.

Don't tell anyone or the Black Helicopters from the UN will come and take you off to you know where for you wouldn't know how long.