The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #89   Message #3678484
Posted By: Jim Dixon
19-Nov-14 - 06:27 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Haunted House (Jumpin' Gene Simmons)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE HAUNTED HOUSE (Ray Noble)
Here's an altogether different song with the same title. I'll put it here so that if someone goes searching for Halloween songs, they'll find both of them.

You can hear this at YouTube. (There is some inane patter at the beginning; the singing starts at 1:43.) It's also on Spotify.

Written by Max Kester & Ray Noble, 1931
As recorded by New Mayfair Dance Orchestra (Ray Noble, conductor)

When the doors all squeak
And the windows creak
And the ceilings leak
'Cause the roof's antique
And you hear a shriek
And your legs feel weak,
It's a haunted house.

There's a dismal moan
Like a weird trombone
And the old hambone
Is suddenly thrown.
You are all alone
With the great unknown
In the haunted house.

There's only one good spirit; it's the spirit in the bottle.
With shaking hands you pull the cork and pour some down your throttle.

There's a clank of chains
And the smell of brains
And a gory stain
Where the Duke was slain
And you've got chilblains
And varicose veins
In the haunted house.

From the old oak beam
Hangs a corpse; you seem
To feel a wet stream
With a sinister gleam
And you wake with a scream
From a horrible dream
Of the haunted house.

When the cavalier
With a dreadful leer
Tried to disappear
Through the chiffonier
And you cling with fear
To the chandelier,
It's a haunted house.

The air is full of clammy claws that clutch you by the collar,
So gargle night and morning just in case you have to holler.

There are lights and sprites
And awful frights
In flesh-pink tights.
In the dead of night
Comes a woman in white
So you're quite all right
In the haunted house.

When the old church clock
Strikes twelve, there's a knock.
With a sudden shock
You remember the lock.
On the door there's a crock—
Oh, why did you mock
At the haunted house?

It is black as pitch
And your eyeballs twitch.
In the darkest niche
Sits a dirty witch
And the lighting switch
Is out of reach
In the haunted house.

When the slavey's filled the gravy why is she so pallid?
Something poked her in the pantry when she fetched the salad.

"I'm filled with dread.
Yes, I'm nearly dead.
I saw a head
Underneath my bed.
Come out if you can.
I could do with a man
In the haunted house."