The only royal visit I ever endured close up was in Halifax in 1976, at the crappy old fleet hospital where I received my trade training. HRH the Duke of Edinburgh was in naval uniform as were his equerry and aide; his body guard wore a nice suit and (presumably) an even nicer gun; the hospital administration officer wore the only uniform he possessed that wasn't shiny in the seat; and us skivvies wore what we always wore: hospital workdress and varying degrees of attitude. The patients, as usual, swanned about in Canadian Forces-issue dressing gowns (blue corduroy, rather nice).

System firing all right ...