Nice one, Ed, though I'm not sure yet that you're on my side on this one. ;-) Might I just ask what happens if your dog's doodah is, er, ever so slightly runny? When you pick it up you leave a nasty little smear that is far less visible to the unsuspecting than the original upstanding turd. Strikes me that it would be safer all round to leave the bloody thing where it is, since at least we could see it then. If we're looking, of course. "What did you see on your country ramble, Dad?" "Why, nothing, sweetheart - I was far too occupied making sure I didn't step in any turds..."

I recall the good old days when I worked on the parks department up north. In those days dogs ate a lot more bones and, after a week's drying out, their turds turned dry and white and went off with a big powdery PUFF when you accidentally ran the mower over them. Jaysus, I must have inhaled a ton of that stuff...