I been thinkin' of writin' my own autobiography which would be a flippin' AMAZING story but Don said I should get a gohste writer to do it so it is done right. I figgered that was the dumbest thing I EVER hearn of! How the flip can a ghoste write? They ain't got solid fingers or nuthin' and would not be able to pick up the flippin' pen! For flip's sake!

So I told Don he was a flippin' moron, eh? Maybe even a LESS-on which is considerablle worse than a moron!

But then I was talkin' to Offiser Dana and she says I should get a ghoast writer too!

Holy flip! So maybe I do need a flippin' goast writer, eh?

Who should I get? Who has flippin' died who could do flippin' jusdice to MY incredible life story? Who?

I am thinkin' maybe get Tim Horton to do it, eh? That could be good. Or Jim Morrison? Yeah! Now how do I contact him?

- Shane