The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3691568
Posted By: Rapparee
04-Mar-15 - 08:52 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
And I quote:

Chongo Chimp, you have had a fair and impartial trial by you peers and have been found guilty of and in every every count, to whit: perjury, possession of weapons prohibited by law, discharge of firearms within the city limits, public drunkenness, transportation of a woman across State lines for immoral purposes, living off of the wages of a prostitute, premeditated murder, violation of the statute prohibiting gambling, prostitution, unvarying ugliness, illegal entry into the United States of America, crossing the street outside of a crosswalk, attempted bribery of public officials, barretry, mopery and dopery on the high seas, pollution of water, operating a taxicab without a permit, possession of concealed firearms without a permit, theft of electrical power, piracy, and numerous and sundry other crimes without number. The jury has made no recommendation of mercy. Therefore, you are remanded to the custody of the sheriff for incarceration and, on the first day of April next, you will be taken from said place of incarceration to the place of execution, there to be executed by any lawful means the sheriff sees fit. This may include, but is not limited to, breaking on the wheel, stoning, decapitation, hanging by the neck until you are dead, being shot to death by musketry, drawing and quartering, peine forte et dure, garrotting, poisonous gas, or any other method. The only forbidden method is old age. And I will admonish you that the only reason you are getting off so lightly is because the Statutes of the Idaho Legion prevent me from giving you such punishment as that which you so very richly deserve.

This was signed today by the Colonel General, the Judge Advocate General, and the majority of the members in good standing of the Idaho Legion.