I had flatulence in a crowded lift once. Still chuckle about us falling out gasping and Laughing with tears in our eyes whilst a bloke in a kilt and an American accent walked out slowly and went over to reception and asked that we (three mates up for a conference) be thrown out of the hotel.

Only in The Balmoral in Edinburgh is an American in a kilt able to claim the higher moral ground. Still, it has that rare combination of noisy and smelly. Rather proud really.