My thoughts have been perusing, why do men go boozing,
Do they stop to think on the ill - effects of drink?
Each night they're on the pop, their life span can't be long,
The answer to my question, is it right or is it wrong?
CH
Does your Brown Ale lose its flavour in the bedpan overnight?
Do you wish you hadn't drunk it when you stagger home half tight?
Does your bladder feel exhausted when you're up and down all night?
Does your Brown Ale lose its flavour in the bedpan overnight?

I've drunk all kinds of hops, I've drunk all kinds of slops,
From Export to Pale Ale, it's landed me in jail,
Drinking's brought me sorrows, drinking's brought me joys,
I know what you're all saying, it'll bring me haemorrhoids,

Beer is the cause of sin, with whisky, rum and gin,
As you know very well, will lead you all to Hell,
Satan gets the sinners, the old uns and the new uns,
I know that you're all praying that the Devil sells McEwan's.

Yes Eddie MacIntyre - over to you Jim to improve.