THE TRANSIT VAN

                    1  
Margaret Thatcher talking on T.V.  
Seemed so sincere when she says to me  
There'd be no unemployment if  
You'd all use a bit of initiative  
I was on the dole I was broke and bored  
Says I I'll take her at her word  
Got a lone from the credit union man  
And I bought myself a Transit Van  
                    2  
The next step up the ladder now  
I bought myself an old fat sow  
I crossed over the border quite legally  
And collected the common market subsidy  
Signed all the forms handed back the pen  
Then smuggled me pig back home again  
Ten times a day we'd work this plan  
Myself the sow and the Transit Van  
                        3  
Of travel sickness the old sow died  
So I thought it was time I diversified  
I took all the money from the biscuit tin  
Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin  
Around the South my wares I'd sell   
In public houses and hotels  
There was never a guard nor a customs man  
Got his nose inside that Transit Van  
                         4  
At festivals and Fleadhs and fairs  
 If the craic was good you would find me there  
At all big matches in Croke Park  
And I've danced with Springsteen in the Dark  
I fought with tinkers in Ballinasloe  
I've danced in the streets around Listowel  
Mothers had their daughters warned  
Stay well away from that Transit Van  
                         5  
But it being Lent and the drink trade slow  
I took to carrying videos  
While on the road to Ballybay  
Found a customs roadblock in me way  
To face the border I got her turned  
The engine roared and the tyres burned  
There were five patrol cars fully manned  
In hot pursuit of the Transit Van  
                      6  
Through Clontbruit I did run  
As quick as Peter Robinson  
Going round the corner I hit a dog  
Went over the hedge into Galla bog  
Well I sat on the bank and watched all I owned  
Sinking in the bog hole like a stone  
She was lying on her roof and the wheels still turning  
And the stereo was playing "Farewell to Erin"  
                          7  
So now I'm back where I first began  
No job no money but I have a plan  
There's a wee girl down in Tullysarn  
She could hold my future in her hand  
Now she doesn't look like a film star  
But she's been telling me about her Da!  
He owns no property or land  
But he has two sows and a Transit Van  
                           8  
The Queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car  
Her son Charlie drives a Jag-u-ar  
But when the Pope came to I-re-land   
He drove around in a Transit Van.

You didn't send me your e-mail Colm so I hope
you get this

All the Best
Mike