Shame, some libraries sell beer, wine, and liquor.

But here's something to help you out (and yes, it works and it won't kill you).

Get a clean garbage bag. Empty a bunch of cans of fruit in it, the kind in heavy syrup if you can get them (don't add the cans, throw them away). Add a couple packages of dry yeast, like your momma used for baking bread, or add a couple slices of old bread (not moldy). Now pour in a quart of very warm water. Get a straw, like you drink through and a bendy one is best. Twist the top of the garbage bag around the straw and tie it tight. Put the whole thing is a warm place, and bend the straw if you can so so it points down. Let it sit for about two weeks and you'll have some fine drink.

But remember, only a REAL man can take the hangover and I seriously doubt that YOU can deal with any of this.