Here's a slightly longer version of what Louise posted 21 April 06.

My old man's a dustman, he lives in a council flat
He took me round the corner, to watch a football match
Fatty passed to Skinny, Skinny and Skinny passed it back,
Fatty took a rotten shot and knocked the goalie flat.
Singing where was the goalie when the ball was in the net,
Halfway round the goalpost with his trousers round his neck.
They laid him on a stretcher, they laid him on a bed,
They rubbed his belly with a lump of jelly and this is what he said:

Rule Britannia, two monkeys up a tree,   (Rule Brit tune)
One fell down and paralysed his....

(Back to My old man tune)
Willy was a bulldog sitting in the grass
Up came a bumblebee and stung him on his....
Ask no questions, tell no lies
I saw a copper buttoning up his....
Flies are a nuisance, fleas are worse,
That is the end of my silly little verse.

Hull, Yorkshire, late 50s?