Essex Girl - whatever happened to your cookie?

Henry (aka Pip) - Maybe next year I will re-unite you (in the sense of let you visit) your mandolin that you left with Jacqui, which had the front smashed in by moving man, beautifully repaired to a sound like a stripper behind gauze by a man from up north whose name I forget, then I put strings on it that were too much, and when it fell off a table at a folk club it split, then I let a wanker called Andy Perkins fix it and it has never sounded the same since - but it still plays and after the money I've spent on it I reckon it's mine...