City:

Last night when I went back on FB to check in, a number of people had posted support and one was insistent that I chat. I asked for phone number and called him. The last person I wanted to tell what happened as his family a suffered a similar incident 30 years ago. I had barely seen him since, though always good friends of an infrequent sort. I visited his parents more often as they are nearby. Well, he sounded OK and I ended up telling him all of it and he took it very well. Then we talked about his three kids and his life. We deepened our relationship in mutual support rather than me being the strong one. He confirmed that the time we spent together 30 years ago had been helpful.

The night I met him, his parents were on the verge of putting him in hospital so I took him home for two months and gave him back to them in good shape. Last night I told him that, if it helped him, it was the thing in my life that made me sure my life was worthwhile. All it took was unconditional positive regard. Strange it may seem; I have two beautiful sons and four beautiful grandchildren but this was the thing which kept me going when I felt I had done nothing worthwhile with my life. - DEPRESSION, lack of self-esteem! Amazing how we can give to others what we do not have ourselves.

I felt better.

Anyone who wants to read about the double homicide that has rocked a whole community and changed her life forever, can google Cindy Norvell. There are several newspaper articles. She lost son (17) and husband; she (54) and her visiting brother were seriously injured; daughter (14) and niece (15) were spared and helped the young man, a foster son (19), calm down, lay down the knife and walk out to meet the police. How does one sort out their life after all that? Cindy will, somehow. I expect she will be deeply concerned for the lad who did it, as am I. Early childhood abuse is a hard thing to overcome, regardless of how caring people are later. He never got the help he needed and it has cost dearly. Sometimes love is not enough.

Today we went to Quaker Meeting. R thought we needed it. It kept me from going to the mill, again today. But R has spent the afternoon sorting papers that have been on the floor and chairs for months. Six hours now because he keeps reading stuff rather than using a to-be-read-later pile. A few inches have gone into recycling! YAY! The floor is almost clear. Now, one more chair, then he can use the computer. I WANT to be able to sit in that chair; a rocking chair is so much better than just sitting.

I may have de-cluttered the sun room by being away so long. Plants have not been watered in two weeks.