Very (VERY) finely sliced cabbage was the rule in my parents' house, with mayonnaise, salt and plenty of pepper. Never sugar.

In my own house, where cole slaw is likely to be a side dish with fish tacos or something else Mexican, I largely base my ingredients on a recipe my friend Jon learned on the beach in Baja: I use very thinly sliced cabbage, some equally thinly sliced red onion, a very finely minced jalapeno pepper or two, and a diced mango, dressed with seasoned rice vinegar, a little olive oil, and salt (not too much) & pepper. Still no sugar; I can't even imagine it.

Jeri, I'm going to have to try adding sesame oil now; that sounds great!