That's the difference between a debate and a discussion. A discussion isn't about winning, it's about discovery. A debate is a kind of argument done as play. In an argument you are trying to win, but you actually care about it. In a debate it's a sort of game, rather than a fight.

Debates can be fun, but by definition they are trivial. Arguments can be fun, but they can be really nasty. I prefer discussions, but they don't stay discussions for all that long here.

I also see meta discussions as an excellent way of diverting an argument from getting too nasty. I'm puzzled why they evidently aren't approved of here.