This doesn't have much to do with the request, but I came across it and it was too good not to post.


MY UNCLE
(Napoleon III)

Who gave to France her liberty,
And all the many blessings she
Enjoys (of course including me)?
                           My Uncle!

Who taught that all were made for one
And blood of millions caused to run
For—p'r'aps the best expression's—fun?
                           My Uncle!


Who shot young Enghien in a ditch,
To bone his lands and chattels—which
He left his nephew to enrich?
                           My Uncle!


Who when his troops at Jaffa lay
Proposed to poison such, they say,
As being sick were in the way?
                           My Uncle!


Who for a second wife inclined,
Said his first marriage didn't bind—
(A dodge I mean to bear in mind)?
                           My Uncle!


Who with a mind extremely great,
Used to decide affairs of state
By cards and Fairburn's Book of Fate?
                           My Uncle!


Who took eight hundred thousand men
To starve and freeze in Russia; then,
Leaving them there came home again?
                           My Uncle!


Who taught me how to gag the press,
And soap the army to excess,
To get me out of any mess?
                           My Uncle!


Whose precepts taught me as I grew,
To govern France from whom I knew,
In short how easy 'twas to do?
                           My Uncle!



Source: The Napoleon Ballads: The Poetical Works of Louis Napoleon, by Sir Theodore Martin & Napoleon III (Emperor of the French), G.P. Putnam, 1852, pages 31-32