I took a lady out west one night.
She had a very large appetite.
She asked me to take her out to dine.
I counted out me money. I had four and nine.

CHORUS: Four and nine I still have yet.
Four and nine I'll never forget.
Don't ever take a lady out to dine
If you have in your pocket only four and nine.

She started off with the oxtail soup,
Then stewed eels to loop the loop.
Oysters, too, she said are fine,
But I kept muscles on me four and nine. CHORUS

Next thing she ordered was the fillet of plaice,
And passed the chicken across her face.
As I watched it go down her spine,
I said, "Lord have mercy on me four and nine." CHORUS
Found it! On another thread Is this the one?

In came the waiter and he looked at me.
"How about paying that bill," said he.
He kept his right eye fixed on mine.
I kept muscles on me four and nine. CHORUS

In came the boss and he gave a stare.
He placed his foot, but I won't say where.
Out of the window I went flying,
Dancing on the pavement with me four and nine. CHORUS

Four and nine, put another dollar up.
Four and nine, take a tip from me.
Don't ever take a lady out to dine
If you have in your pocket only four and nine.