Or this;
In a little Mid-Wales village, Back in the time when all the Welsh pubs were closed on The Sabbath, some of the local men used to sneak down to the pub every Sunday afternoon, tap on the side, and would be let in by the elderly proprietor - they would spend the afternoon drinking, talking and playing darts until it was time to go home for their evening meal.   
None of the wives, all regular churchgoers, was happy with the situation, but they all put up with it because that's the way it was in those days.
One Sunday, as usual, a regular at the practice, put on his coat and said to his wife, "Just going for a game of darts with the lads love; won't be late back".
"Make sure you're not", she said, "it's my mother's birthday and she's coming to dinner, so make sure you're on time".
Off he goes down to the pub, taps on the window, and is surprised to be let in by a very attractive young woman instead of the usual, elderly governor.
He goes into the bar to find it completely empty; "Where is everybody" he asks.
"They've all gone to the match in Cardiff; Uncle Dai went with then, and I said I'd stand in until he got back in case anybody turned up".
"Damn", he said, "I'd forgotten all about it; I'll just have a quick pint and I'll get back home".
So she pulls him a pint, then a second and nobody else came in.
The two of them begin chatting, and eventually, one thing leads to another, and they go upstairs and get into bed.
After a while, they both fell asleep, and when they woke up, it's pitch dark,
"Sod, it", he says, "I'm in real trouble now; it's my mother-in-law's birthday and I promised I would be back in time to see her".
He throws on his clothes, races downstairs, and as he rushes through the bar he grabs a piece of chalk from the dartboard and shoves it behind his ear.
He sprints out the door and down the street and lets himself into his house.
His wife is sitting in the kitchen, furious and almost in tears.
"I knew you'd be late ", she spat; "my mother's been and gone, the dinner was burned, waiting for you so she had nothing to eat, and she never wants to see you again- where have you been till this hour?"
"To tell you the truth love, he said, "I went to the pub, as usual, and was let in by a lovely young lass, Dai's niece – he'd gone to Cardiff with the lads for the match.
Well, I said I was only going to have a pint and come home, so we started chatting and one thing led to another, and you know how these things go, we went upstairs, got into bed and eventually fell asleep – we only woke up ten minutes ago".
"You're a lying bastard", she hissed, "You've been playing darts again as usual; you've still got the chalk behind your ear".
Jim Carroll