While Donald Swann drops the minuet and switches the piano from major to minor, Michael Flanders starts off the third and final verse of "Bring Back the Birch", speaking for medieval English lords.

God's wounds!
how the commons we coddle today,
with the laws these new Parliaments pass.
No trial without jury, no work without pay --
the whole feudal system's a farce.
The freemen want charters, the serfs won't bear arms,
The towns claim exemption from tax.
Then there's "Habeas Carcass" and all that red tape:
I'd cut through the lot with me axe!

(Flanders and Swann together from now to the end)

Bring back the rack. Chop off their members.
Blind them and boil them and break on the wheel.
Bring back the knout. Bring back impaling,
"Jus Primae Noctis" and trial by ordeal.
A Lord is a Lord, ?   ?   ? ?
Make England safe for the barons again.

SWANN: Bring back the birch.
FLANDERS: Bring back the thumbscrew.
SWANN: Bring back the treadmill.
FLANDERS: Bring back ? ? ?
SWANN: Emasculate them, and flay them alive.

(to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
Bring back,
Bring back,
O bring back the flogging for you
FLANDERS, on a growl: NOT me.
Bring back,
Bring back,
O bring back our cor- po- ral P!!

the end