IF THE WIND HAD ONLY BLOWN THE OTHER WAY.
Words by Edna Williams and Bessie Wynn; music by Edna Williams. ©1909.
As recorded by Grace Cameron, 1909.

I am a most unhappy soul
Since I have lost my heart's control
To dashing mashing mister Alex King.
Why I was just about eighteen
When twins appeared upon the scene.
'Twas but a year I'd worn my wedding ring.
I met him in the month of June.
'Twas on a windy afternoon.
He was a swell to judge him by his clothes,
And I had on a princess gown,
A dream that had been handed down,
But what attracted him the most was my silk hose.

If the wind had only blown the other way,
I might have been a single girl today,
And I plumb forgot that marriage
Would include a baby carriage.
If the wind had only blown the other way!

He claims that I encouraged him,
But that excuse is very slim.
I really never knew he followed me.
You know how strange a woman feels
With someone always at her heels,
And I was just as scared as I could be.
I might have had my skirts all pinned,
But how was I to stop the wind?
You know quite well how skirts will oft times fly.
Last night I asked him: "Tell me, pray,
Why did you wink at me that day?"
He said he didn't wink; 'twas dust got in his eye.

If the wind had only blown the other way,
I might have been a single girl today.
I'd not be pushing paregoric
In two twins who've got the colic,
If the wind had only blown the other way.

One afternoon along Broadway,
A former sweetheart dashing gay,
He said: "How swell you look, my pretty sweet!"
Just then the wind blew with a whiz.
My hat and braids flew in his phiz,
And all my curls went flying down the street.
"Oh, rats!" he cried and madly sped
To cap those relics off my head.
The while the wind was whistling more and more.
And, oh, dear me! must I confess:
My shape quite suddenly grew less.
I'd lost enough of things to start a bargain store.

If the wind had only blown the other way,
I might have been a single girl today.
I'd be taking ocean diplets,
'Stead of nursing twins and triplets,
If the wind had only blown the other way.