1. If you swallow a watermelon seed you'll get pregnant -- just look at Aunt Helen!

2. There is a tunnel under the Atlantic Ocean which connects (our town in west-central Illinois) with the Vatican. The Swiss Guards are going to invade the US by using it.

3. If there's ever an Atomic War our town will be one of the first attacked because of our railroad hub and the dam on the river.

4. Smoking stunts your growth.

5. Drinking coffee stunts your growth.

6. Drinking beer stunts your growth.

7. People put gum on seats in movie theaters so that when you get up your clothes will be ripped off.

8. If you stand on a certain bridge in Hanover, Germany and look back between your legs you'll see a ghost. (I don't remember the bridge.)

9. They make hot dogs out of dead people.

10. If you cough, sneeze, and fart at the same time you'll explode.