My dad was just getting used to the idea of going into a home of some sort before he died, and we (becky and I ) went to see one place the day before. Maybe grandma. Would be ok with it. Your mum would certainly have no need to feel guilty, as I expect she would visit often. I used to see my dad most days but my brother found it difficult, but he handled the practical jobs side, which would have been challenging for me. We do what we can , and there is no value in feeling bad about what we cannot manage.   Blessings.    Pete.