Hi I recognise this passage.. It's the travel writer Bill Bryson writing about a visit to Glasgow.

The samples of Glasgow speech are his efforts to explain that he could not understand a word anyone was saying. It doesn't mean anything. I am a Glasgow native. The funny thing is that he could have aciheved the same effect by using genuine instances of Glasgow dialect.

Bill Bryson is very very funny, by the way. Pal. And that. So he is.

Cheers