Thank you, 'Spaw. As a reward for your concern for my mental health I will spare you the URL of a site that allegedly has a collection of rhymes about diarrhea. The sample that was quoted was:
When you're laying in the bed
And you feel something spread
Diarrhea, pfft pfft, diarrhea

Well that's how it was spelled.
Rts (Nurse, the screens!)
[actually it gave a URL as www.liquid-poop.com which doesn't seem to exist].