Secret to a Long Life

One day I saw a wonderful old gal sitting on her front step. Her face was wrinkled like a prune, she was so stooped she was almost folded in half, and her gnarled fingers could hardly grasp the glass of iced tea she was holding. But she had such a wide, toothless grin on her face that she positively spread cheer.

So I walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"

"I smoke ten stogies a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. All my life I've eaten only junk food and I put away at least a fifth of Jack Daniels every week. On weekends I pop pills, and never do any exercise at all."

Absolutely, absolutely amazing, I thought, and I just couldn't help but to ask her, "Wow! How old are you, anyway?"

She didn't hesitate at all. "Twenty-four," she replied.