"The vast, vast majority of Christians do not hold such beliefs"

Would that it were true. The vast majority of Christians live in nightmare traditions like Northern Irish (and Scottish to some extent) Presbyterianism, Southern Baptism, and African Anglicanism. And that's before we start on European Catholicism, and the multivarious Orthodox shower.

Like, you only get buried for 3 years in Athens unless you're rich because the church won't allow cremation and the cemetaries are chokka. There has to be something left to resurrect at the last trump. Feeble old God, and sad for the martyrs.