One of Mum's famous poems:

Voyage of Discovery

You've never heard of Stretford? Good heavens, fancy that!
Not heard of Urmston either? Well, I'll eat my hat!
Consult an atlas pinpointing their exact location
Then come along prepared for a unique revelation.

On arrival cast about, you're certain to discover
Lush meadowland where little paths meander by the river.
The Mersey, great dividing line between two ancient shires
Above whose swirling currents the wild kingfisher soars.

In stark contrast, albeit close to this verdant delight,
Stands Stretford Precinct where large supermarkets dominate.
Shop at leisure then move onto your next port of call,
The bustling town of Urmston, enjoy a pleasant stroll
Round tree lined parks; its cosy bars, but come on market day
When inimitable bargains are laid out on display.

Five star restaurants abound, enticing clientele
With gastronomic art born of inspirational skill.
The natives welcome visitors with amiable chat
And if you're not impressed well, I repeat, I'll eat my hat!