I've been sitting with my dad trying to remember it, here's what we can get. I know we're missing some. If we could fill us in, that would be great.

The death of the 69,000.

Twas the day of the castration of the king,
"Balls!" Cried the Queen, "for if I had two, I'D be king!"
The king laughed, not because he wanted to(2) but because he had to(2).
David was in love with the king's daughter.
Up road David. "Where is the princess?!" Cried David.
"In bed with diphtheria." Said the king.
"WHAT?! is that Greek bastard back in town?!" Cried David.
For his insolence, David was thrown in the lion's den.
Up strode the lion, David grabbed the lion by the balls.
"That tickles." Said the lion.
"What tickles?" Asked David.
"Testicles." Said the lion, and they chocked one up for the mangy best.
David turned to the king.
"Where's the princess?"
"FUCK THE PRINCESS!" Declared the king, and 69,000 died in the rush, for in those days, the King's word was LAW.