Dear Joe,

If it hurts to dance, that takes the whole reason for doing it out of the equation.
Dance SHOULD = joy. I had to give up contra dancing when bone spurs in the heel & the sudden gasps of pain gave my partners concerns and m'self a desire to quit. English Country was possible to navigate without the pain, until I smashed a knee. When I had to quit dancing, I became part of the band(s). If you are determined to dance, have a consult with an orthopedist, rheumatologist, or physical therapist - whichever is most qualified to diagnose the source of your dance pain, and help you find ways to avoid it. That waltzing became more difficult with instruction sounds like the instructor was not attuned to your needs.

Much of the style and speed of the dances, contra, waltz or otherwise (polka or schottiche), depends on the makeup of the crowd. As the median age has crept up and up, the dances have ecome more sedate. Many of the folk who do English Country Dance (as we say in the US) are older, and have trouble keeping up the pace of contras.

Your options aren't limited to going dancing and suffering. Unless CA is vastly different, there is a dance community with places for the "support staff." Have you thought about being part of the band? Can you do sound? Someone to take money, greet and answer questions at the door makes it possible for the band members to not have to do that. Become part of the social fabric of the dance world. And, here, the only truly significant dance is the waltz, particularly the last one, when everyone is expected to dance with their darling. A goal of denying Larry that pleasure, which should be yours, seems like a good idea. I do hope you find a solution to this, for dancing with your best beloved can be just as pleasurable as the Methodists feared!

Joanne in Cleveland